Ghajini

I saw this movie with great expectations and hope that Mr.Perfectionist a.k.a Aamir Khan would turn this desi adaptation of a wonderful psychological thriller called Memento into some thing ecstatic. Sadly, the movie is neither thrilling nor captivating. Aamir Khan looks more like a cross between the angry-teeth baring-eye balling-taaarikh guy (Sunny Deol) and a blood covered Sharukh Khan from kkkkkiran or Darrrrrrrrrr.

This movie is fast. So fast that that it never lets you think during the movie. The painful point is that, because of the use of this technique called "Assume the Viewers have no brains", I was left with a million questions. How does Singhania remember to change his clothes everyday (he wears a new jacket everyday, that must mean he remembers what he wore the previous day)? How is it that someone sooo powerful and rich (richer than the ambanis put together, in film) has never been seen by the outside world? Why is Jiah Khan a psychologist!! What is a cheap B Grade mallu villain doing in the movie!!

The movie has a few comic moments. Sadly, most of the comic moments are when the name of the villain is shown. Ghajini Dharmatman or was it something like Bhishm Pithamah or Mahaveer Shaktiman or was it Complan Boy, oops I forgot, I forgot what I was thinking a few minutes back. Hey What was the name of the movie again?

And then Asin. The mallu beauty from Cochin who has acted in numerous brainless flicks in Tamil (For non tamilians, she acted in the Tamil Ghajini as well). Are we to hate the sinner and love "Asin". Guess, she got carried away by the fact that she is getting to debut with AAAAmir Khan. She can act, she can speak good hindi (without the Lola Kutty accent), she can dance and she does look good. Sadly, she cannot save the movie. The movie is more about Aamir's 8 pack and his memory loss right?

 The movie gave me a head ache and a feeling that I am pretty jobless in life (imagine, so jobless that I typed this out!!)

 On the whole, this movie can be watched a million times.. Seriously.. Still.. You will hate it!!

 Good show Mr.Murga(whatever) the director and Mr.Perfectionist

 Oh, I forgot about Jiah Khan (I have started making notes to remember things)!. Or was she even there in the movie!

 

 

What was the name of the movie again????????????????????

Flying in a Blue Dream…

It took me sometime to realise that my eyes were open and the million rats I heard in my dream was just the squeeky fan. My pillow was damp, thanks to all the rain water that seeped in. 3 AM is quite an odd time to actually notice so many things around you. I looked at the calendar and realised that its been almost a week since I have had 'sound sleep'(always wondered whats the sound of sleep!). Or was it more than a week. The last distinct memory I could fish outta my head was me sitting in a rattling train somewhere in Karnataka(the calendar helped me figure out that this happened 2 weeks back). The timeline between that event and the present moment(the squeeky fan time) was blank. A plain nothing in my head. I could only recollect flashes of a few incidents that happened in the middle.

The only thing that came to my head was a million swears!! in all the languages I have known. Its a known fact that 'holy words' are the first thing you pick when you arre trying to learn a new language. I should have thanked the invisible force for saving my head from that narrow accident. It was the closest I have got under a truck when I was driving. It was that *****'s mistake. I checked the time, 4 AM. I still had time to get to the Railway Station(you really dont wanna get late when you are going to pick up your girl!).

I have always loved my cuppa. Especially the Indian one. Over-boiled and full of spices. Just like the people here. But this one really got to me. It gave me the nastiest burn on my lip(no more 'lip service' for a few days). Its a human tendency to blame someone for all the wrong things happening in life. May be that is an emotional escape mechanism that humans have come up with during the course of their emotional evolution. But here, I could not blame myself or the cuppa. I love my cuppa! 11 AM! Thats no time to report to work. May be the cuppa was making me too Indian and I was acquiring the habit of being late to work(not that I had a fixed time table before, I could still blame the cuppa for it!).

12 Noon. I was sitting staring at some green characters over a pitch black screen. Occasionally shifting my focus to to the three clocks that were hung right in front of my cubicle. I was reminded of the Dilberts Principle about the cubicle and how it could turn someone into a sociopath. I was pretty sure(in fact convinced to some extend) that I was'nt one. Cos, I was not staring at the clocks to check if its time to leave. I just happened to look there, 12.15PM.

Smoking was something that I have always enjoyed(no, I was not born with a cigarette in my mouth!). Also, I was happy that I am a very passionate consumer of a product that gives a sizeable chunk of revenue to the government. I was used to having a cuppa in my hand and cigarette on my lips. The cigarette did cause some pain when I realised it was right on a burn mark on my lip. I was quite amazed and amused to realise that I had actually burnt my lips. But when? I checked the time. 5PM.

It was raining hard outside. I was still awake, thanks to the window that could never be completely closed. My pillow was damp. It looked like sleep is going to be something thats gonna elude me today as well. I was dogged by thought, "What if this happens for another week?". I was freaked out to realise that I have been living in a lucid dream. The characters around me had no significance in my life. There was something in my mind that was controlling my actions. Actions that I could never justify. I was puzzled to realise that I could not figure out why I did something. Or how soemthing was happening in my life. I reached for the bottle near my bed. As the bottle touched my lip, I was hit by the a burning sensation on my lip. I looked at myself in the mirror. Obese. Tired. Hollow Eyes. Burnt lips. But how?? How did I burn my lips? I was getting desperate for some sleep. I calculated. Its 12 midnight. I sleep till 8. 8 hrs of sleep. Should be good enough. I was still thinking about my burnt lips. I could not think of any thought process linked to such an event. When did that happen? how? Sleep. I need to sleep.

3 AM. I realised that my eyes were open. The fan sounded like a million squeeky rats. Is there something wrong going on in my life?

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear…

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

I could not feel my feet on the gas pedal, there was no pain, no anguish, no thought. A total mindless trip. I guess I had been driving for around 6 hours.

There was nothing awesome about that day. It was bright and sunny. I never liked the bright sunny days. Especially weekends. Can't really complain about that, who is to be blamed for placing this country on the wrong side of the equator! It was one of those days Colonel Frank would have sung,

It's a great day
for singin' a song
And it's a great day
for movin' along
And it's a great day
from morning to night
And it's a great day
For everybody's plight

I never beleived in the theory that, there are multiple dimensions co-existing in this universe. However, I still loved the Sci-fi movies based on this theme. Can't really ignore human imagination at times.

The whole idea of multiple dimensions comes from the nature of our dreams. The way they appear so close to reality. Somehow the brain is forced to accept the fact that all the events in a dream is no illusion. Something shocking about these dreams is that they are mere permutations of the events that happen in reality. A million possibilities. What were to happen if one of the permutation was a reality? Then is the present reality a dream? Its true that the present reality is also one of the permutations thats possible if we were to consider the dream as the 'reality'. Its not something that we really need to worry about. Especially right now. With the Oil crisis, economic slow down, inflation looming in the background, guess its a wrong time to worry about the dreams right now. Reality is pretty screwed up!

The humming sound of the car engine broke my train of thoughts. I am sure the co-passenger would have considered me as a hazard on road(no problems, there were no co-passengers!!). It was a moment void of any thoughts. I was just staring out of the window. I was driving real fast. Images were getting blurred. I could not fix my eyes on anything. Leave aside the road!!

I can't really think of anything that really interested me at that time. Guess, I should have been talking to someone to escape the monotonous life that I was leading. But talking to someone can be a pain at times. Converstations cannot be eternal. A momentary exchange of ideas, which leaves the two parties wondering, who was the benefactor! At the end of it all, both the 'talkers' would run out of ideas, creating this hollow space of nothing. Its like nothing more has to be said. I am not saying that the human mind is a perennial source of ideas. We have evolved. But not to an extend that we could have a mind to concieve the universe. But there is arrogance in one's thoughts, words and actions. Things that we take for granted. Talking. Keep Talking. For what?

I could never understand the Mescaline trip described by Aldous Huxley. Neither could I digest the Brave New World. 1984 has already passed and we are yet to see a Big Brother bossing over us. People always expect the worst and prepare for the best. A very optimistic and unrealistic approach. A continous effort to live ones dream. Not realising the dreams can never be a distant reality. It is this gap between reality and dream that I am talking about again. A gap that should never be bridged. Let dreams stay as one of the million possibilities, out of all the permutations of reality. A reality that we are living in. Not because we are forced to live in this reality.

We all live in a reality thats tailored by us.

A million unwanted babies born in a single closet!

Cooking at home was a bad idea. I felt like a complete idiot for avoiding the readymade 'tiffin' that I used to get. The initial enthusiasm to cook something for myself(and my roommate who could beat a sloth in a slow cycle race!) had died down soon as the estimated effort(uffff!!) was pretty much. Buy the stuff, cut it, cook it, wash the dishes. NO WAY!

I was famished. I could not think of anything but some nice food.

Eggs, greens, tomatoes, onions, some nice Indian Masalas bla bla bla bla. The list was not that big. I walked towards the new store that this Retail giant had opened. I should tell you, I was pretty much sure that it would burn a hole in my pocket. Inflation! It was something that everyone was talking about. Last time the IT folks were so involved in economy would have been when… No one bothered about the economy here! Everyone was happy. Everyone was getting there share money. We were proud to flaunt the new Retail store that had opened in the neighbourhood. Even if the place charged you more for it, or made the nice small shop close down its business. We adored the way the accountants punched the keys at the counter. The way things were stacked in order. The AC inside. The millions of varieties that we were offered. 90% of which, we never used. And, to top it all we were paying extra for this unwanted variety in goods. For the warehousing, transportation and handling of these items which never reached our shelves. I am not a fan of the Red Flag philosophy a.k.a Communism. No way. I would not be one of those angry protesters pelting stones at the Retail Store with a banner "Go Back W*lma*t". No way. I was just a consumer. A person at the downstream of the whole chain. The point where everything has to stack up. The end-user who determined what is good and bad. I was just being made to feel important.

The accountant scanned the bar code using the hair drier shaped laser device. He did not worry about the prices. Neither did I, for I was waiting for the bill to printed and I would present the plastic card with the magnetic band. And, chickens done. I walk out of the store go back home. Ready everything, start cooking. Watch a movie while eating. Sleep till the alarm rings. Go to office. Come back to the Retail Store armed with my plastic card. Go through the whole routine again and again. I was not worried about the inflation. Why should I be? There was no seperate column in my bill which read Inflation = 11.05%. It did say Discount = 5%. I will have to wait till I get the newspaper the next day.

And that happened. Front page. INFLATION 11.05%. THE HIGHEST EVER. The naive, economically dumb me could just stare at it and feel guilty. Did I cause the whole chaos because of my excessive shopping yesterday!

The world is being controlled by old men and oil barrels. Human lives are being measured in gallons and barrels. There is chaos. No one knows where it all began. We were busy shopping.

Guess I will be spared of all the misery. Selfish!!!

Breathe… Breathe in the Air…

The whole morning I was grumpy about how I was woken up by my roommate. He was leaving(idiot!! could have done that earlier) and he had to bid me the final goodbye. Something that I was completely uninterested in. May be it was his thing to be emotional about the fact that he was leaving a place where he has stayed for a couple of months. I simply did not get the idea. Anyways, story cut short, I was pissed. I had to wake up at 6AM and I am sure you would know how hard it is to get back that lovely sound sleep. May be it was not my day.

My head kept reminding me about the lack of sleep. Watery eyes, droopy eye lids. Classic example of a sleep deprived individual! The more I thought about it the more I was being pushed into a dreamy state.

Still. I had to work. Lot of work.

My mind tells me, relax your nerves, go get a smoke! Tobacco. The ultimate cure for tension, stress and everything going wrong in your life(thats what people say, dont sue me about it!). If I am not mistaken it is the largest cash crop in the world. Also, the most selling FMCG, leave aside the sales tax related revenue generated. Something that has been linked to style and disease(ironically) at the same time. Bringer of death, cancer and anarchy(exaggerated for a greater dramatic appeal).

White men crossed the Atlantic hoping to find the land of Cows, Snakes, Spices, Diamonds and Mughals, India. Instead they bump into some really nice people, now called Red Indians (talking about the great US of A). Red Indians welcomed the visitors with utmost hospitality. They introduced the whites to hallucinogenic natural substances(now sold as Mescaline, Ketamine etc) and also TOBACCO. Whites, the real mean people they were, returned these favors with Small Pox infected blankets, bullet wounds and a thousands of dead Red Indians. Whites returned with their booty back home. The other whites back home were impressed with all the things. Especially Tobacco(luckily the church declared the hallucinogenic stuff as evil). The Red Indians never really gave them a tough time in the wars but they did give them Tobacco. The tobacco was chewed. Even used as a flavoring agent and finally some intelligent inventor rolled it in a nice thin paper and behold! Cigarettes were born. The more lethal and heavenly variants like Cigar followed later. Since it was something that came from the new land, Tobacco was something aristocratic. Something for the lords. The trend caught on and it was on everyone's lips. From a street monger to the lady in the arms of the lord.

I loved watching the smoke dissappearing into the air. The way it spiralled its way and became nothing. The various shapes that it formed. I was like a child tripping on clouds!

I walked into the elevator with a sense of relief. Everything appeared clearer now. Concentrate. Work.

People around me were looking at me with a weird look of terror. I smelt like a forest fire may be. Or may be half burnt dung. Me? I thought Cigarettes smelt the best after its smoked. The after taste and the smell. Something heavenly.

It kills people. No doubt about it. The false sense of relief is just psychological. Some sort of a placebo medication. People hate it for the same reason. It is so god damn simple to quit, you can try it a million times. For all those who worship the holy smoke! Praise the lord! Keep Smoking. At least for sometime you are sure, smoke is the only thing entering your lungs.

Dilemma. Lost in a war of Ideas!

Long long time ago, in a country far away, a boy named 'Me' was struck by a mysterious disease called Indifference. The folks around 'Me' attributed it to a virus named Adoloscence. A virus which had struck every kid of that age, in that generation. Scientists later figured out that this Virus was causing genetic mutations in human mind and playing around with emotions. The mutated species of humans in this Generation was called Generation X. The set of events described here, were never recorded and hence the exact dates pertaining to these events are unknown. All I know about this tragedy is that 'Me' lost his credibility and peace of mind to Adolescence.

Parents worried to see their kid slip into a state where 'Me' had no motivation or urge to achieve in life. By the time he was old enough to leave home and go to college, the Virus had mutated his brain completely. His parents were his worst enemies. Lectures became mundane rituals. Nothing interested him. Parents believed that as he grew older his condition would heal itself. But no, he could not be reformed.

'Me' joined college. As a fresher, he was amazed to discover new things. Things, which he believed were the fruits of his new found freedom. He took to substance to keep himself happier. He blamed his parents for all his misery. A misery which was a creation of his imagination. He blamed them for his ugly appearance and boring nature. The fool he was, the idea that his misery was the result of his upbringing, grew stronger and stronger with his age. He was a disaster when it came to socializing with people. He had turned into a complete Psychopath. The Adolescence virus, had spread to his brain. Mutation was complete. He walked around the corridors as a complete stranger. For people around, he never existed.

On a bright, spring morning, during his daily visit to the hoodlum to score some hemp, he met someone. Someone who was to be his pal, till death. His name was 'Gun'. Gun was known for his explosive nature. He was known to flare at people out of anger or insecurity, whichever was prominent. It was just a matter of time, 'Gun' and 'Me' were best pals ever.

'Me' walked around the same corridors, which treated him as a stranger, with a new found confidence. He was not a loser anymore. He had 'Gun' with him now. All hail 'Me'!!!!

His sense of superiority over others made him more intolerant towards social behaviors. He hated the girls who giggled at him. He hated the guys who mocked him. He hated his teachers who asked him unnecessary questions to check his knowledge levels. Why should he care about anyone, when 'Gun' was with him, all the time? He always knew, that the when needed, Gun would help him out.

The one dark winter day, it happened.

21 students dead. All of them were found with a hole through their skull. Guess what went through their heads(apart from the bullet) during their last moments.